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Officer Buckle and Gloria

August 17, 2007

We are in the middle of a hard day. The kind of day when I start fantasizing about going back to work. The kind of day when I start to entertain those dangerous thoughts about the value of what I do.

We are in the middle of a hard day because my six year old son is in the middle of a TERRIBLE day. So we are all being affected by his mood, and my patience has been slowly ebbing away, and I begin to wonder if I am still marketable in today’s workplace…

Over the last year, my confidence in raising a boy has been dwindling. He wants to spend more and more time with his Daddy and less and less time with me. In my attempts to continue to win his heart, I often overlook behavior issues that I know the Lord is prompting me to address.

So, here we are, in the middle of this bad day, and he sits in the corner. Again. If I talk to him, I know I’ll say something unkind, so the corner seems the best place for him while I catch my breath.

“All right, bud.” I say, ending the time out. “Head upstairs for your quiet play time. I’ll see you in an hour”.

He begins to walk up the stairs. It is in these moments when heaven meets earth in my heart, and I hear the quiet voice of God urging me to call him back.

And I really don’t want to.

“Come, here, sweetie. Why don’t you sit on my lap and I’ll read you Officer Buckle and Gloria?” (I hold my breath a little because the offer of my lap doesn’t hold the same appeal as it did when he was a sticky, curly-haired toddler).

He sits and we read. About halfway through the story, he curls up his legs on my lap and rests his head on my chest. It’s been a really long time since that has happened. My eyes water, but I keep reading, finishing the story.

I love my son so deeply – as a parent, there are no words to describe all the ways your children weave themselves into every part of your heart.

I love him in the middle of his TERRIBLE day, his bad attitude, his ungratefulness. And in the middle of a hundred wrong decisions, he is still secure enough in my love to lay his head on my chest and let me hold him.

This moment is heavy with God’s fragrance. A holy moment in the middle of my bad day.

Thank you, Lord, for the privilege of being a mother. Help me to remember the honor that it is and to have a grateful heart with my children. I love you.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. August 18, 2007 11:05 pm

    “I love him in the middle of his TERRIBLE day, his bad attitude, his ungratefulness.”

    And really, isn’t that what God does for us? Loves us through our ugly moments, our tantrums, our disobedience, our tiredness. Through it all, God is always there, offering us the chance to climb up on His lap and rest our head against His chest. What an awesome Father we have. Good for you for heeding God’s direction with your son. What a beautiful moment.

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