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August 23, 2007

“Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thess.).

The last few mornings I have felt really distracted when I am praying. I flip my Bible open and start to doubt my decision to take this year off from doing a “Year Through The Bible” reading plan. How many times will I reread the Psalms and the book of Philippians, I wonder. I vaguely pray for my family, write down a few things for my day, and then half-heartedly read a devotional book.

This morning I decided to ask God about it. “Why am I having such a hard time praying? Why am I so distracted?” I threw these questions up to the Lord and waited.

The gentle realization came.

There are a lot of things that I have not been praying about lately. Details about a new book study I’m doing, little issues about parenting, bigger issues about daily priorities – I haven’t been talking to the Lord about these things because they seem too small to pray about.

Even though they are weighing on my heart and I really need His clarity and wisdom, these issues don’t seem important enough to pray about. I feel like I shouldn’t waste the Lord’s time with them. And I don’t want to waste my time either – my window of time to pray is so short. So instead I try to do things that are more “spiritual” and read His Word a little longer and pray for the things I “should” pray for.

How’s that working out for me, you ask? Uh, not well at all.

If He is a Father then He cares about all the stuff in my heart – not just the depression or family crisis stuff, but the daily, nitty-gritty, walking-through-the-world stuff. I don’t want to let my own mispercepetions about God’s character start to cloud how I relate to Him. I need to remember that He cares about it all.

And then talk to Him about it.

Lord, I love you. I know you want to hear from me. Holy Spirit, please search my heart and pray through me this day. I love you.

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