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Go See A Counselor

January 16, 2008

Great Reasons To See A Counselor:

1. If you go to a counselor, you can walk into the office talking on your cell phone each week in an attempt to appear very together to the other people in the waiting room. In fact, while you’re on the phone, mention words like “ministry” and “prayer” – this will let the other people know you are probably in the counseling office on behalf of someone else. Perhaps waiting to pick someone up.

2. Your counselor HAS to listen to you. He (unlike your sweet children) will not:

A. Sing “Stinky Potty, Stinky Piggy” loudly while you are talking.

B. Tell you he is running away from your house and then bolt out of the room.

C. Yell at other people in the room while you are trying to share your heart.

3. Your counselor will get you bottled water. Sometimes it is Dasani Raspberry flavored water. Mmm!

4. Your counselor knows a lot more about personality disorders and mental illness than you. So when you come in feeling overwhelmed and tell him that you might be bipolor, he will explain clinically why this is not the case. When you worry that you have OCD, your counselor will tell you that you are not OCD because people with OCD have magical thinking (i.e “if I check the oven six times, it will then be completely turned off”) and that you are simply anxious.

5. When you decide that you are just no good and that you are maybe, after all, very bad, your counselor will peer at you calmly from his leather chair and ask you why you are making certain issues in your life all about false morality. You don’t know how to answer, so you sip on your water.

6. Your counselor gives fair warning. He tells you in advance when you will be talking about the really hard issues. This is truly a blessing because it will give you plenty of time to cancel your next appointment.

7. When you are crying because you once again are feeling completely worthless, your counselor will smile and say, “You’re doing really well”. You think he may be a liar, but figure that he is significantly more healthy than you, so you choose to believe him.

8. When you see improvement in your life (like, you no longer clean your house six times a day), your counselor will be extremely excited for you. He will talk with you about your growth. You will try to focus on what he is saying and not think about all the toys cluttering your children’s rooms.

9. Your counselor points out the faithfulness of God in your life when you can’t see it. Which is why you pack your tote bag with a big journal and kleenex every week and drive downtown to talk to him. Because you know that God is using him. This will maybe encourage you to have a better attitude with him.

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I’m leaving number 10 blank in the hopes that I will gain more maturity over the next year and have a really great number 10. Maybe “Your counselor has helped walk you into total freedom from people-pleasing” or “Your counselor has worked with you to be totally free from anxiety and tension.”


3 Comments leave one →
  1. Amanda McEwen permalink
    January 16, 2008 11:40 am

    AHA!!! So that’s why you always want to call and talk on your way to your appointments!! It all makes sense now….you’ll never live this one down :).

  2. January 16, 2008 4:20 pm

    Gosh, I gotta get a counselor.

  3. January 16, 2008 9:21 pm

    Or, number 10 is, your counselor helps you to see that perfection isn’t possible this side of heaven, and to love exactly who God made you to be in the meantime and feel released from striving… or something like that.
    That is my prayer for you at least.

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