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My Morning With God

January 31, 2008

“I rise before dawn and cry out for help; I put my hope in Your Word” (Psalm 119:147).

Today I made coffee and shuffled slowly to my prayer chair. Many times I am excited to pray, but sometimes I have to drag myself to the quiet spot in my house where my prayer basket sits next to pumpkin-scented candles and piles of books.

Today I brought fear and insecurity to God. I opened my prayer notebook and told God that I was completely and totally unequipped for anything in my life. I pointed out the stress I felt with my grandmother’s health issues. I unloaded all of my concerns about my lack of quality time with my family this week. I grimaced as I reminded God of my irritation last night with Hugh and how, once again, I swore quickly.

This morning I told the Lord that I was really stressed out. I felt like I have made about three hundred bad mistakes this week. I asked God if He could please show me a plan for my life where I am home every day and have nothing to do but make dinner and pray.

My mind wandered to the things I needed to do. I needed to get ready to go over to Amanda’s house and get her boys so she could get ready for her stepmother’s funeral. I needed to change the bedding from last night’s accident. I should go take a long shower so I have time to shave my legs so I can wear a skirt to the funeral. I need to…I have to…I should… My list is long.

And this is how I usually start praying. I don’t enter my time with God with peace and rest and a heart to intercede for everyone in my life. I just come and fling all my mess at God and point at it and say, “Okay, Lord. Now what?”

But I don’t stay in the mess. The Holy Presence of God faithfully comes in to my inadequacies every time I ask. In a way I don’t understand, His Holy Spirit fills me every time I come to spend time with Him.

My cup is always empty; He always fills.

So I started to read through several chapters of the Bible. As I did, I began to let go of my worries as the water of the Word washed over me. I wrote out some verses; I whispered their words.

He poured Himself all over me as we started to talk about everything in my heart. I felt my anxiety ebb away as faith and joy came in.

Then I jumped out of my prayer chair, worry and fear gone, and I danced around the room in my faded pajamas.

I sang “You reign! You reign!” in celebration that, again today, He has given me His perspective on my life and His strength for my calling.

I left my prayer chair very different from how I came. I came downstairs with clarity and peace. I had clear direction about some hard choices. I had a heart full of His Word. I was once more overflowing with His Spirit, ready again for my life.

My morning with God. Ah…

Lord, thank you for faithfully filling me with Your Presence each time I sit with you. I ask you for to give me more hunger for your Word and prayer each day. I want to live even more fully in You. In the name of Your Son, Amen.

**This is being published at Faith Lifts today. Love, Jess

3 Comments leave one →
  1. February 1, 2008 12:13 am

    I found your blog through the giveaway. And, I just have to say that I loved this post. I’m touched and inspired. Thank you!

  2. February 1, 2008 10:17 pm

    I love how He works. I love how we can be honest with Him. I love how He fills us as no other can. Thanks for sharing! We learn from one another’s transparency, never from feigned perfection. Thanks for being so transparent!

    🙂 Kimberly

  3. February 2, 2008 11:25 am

    I love your openness and honesty. It is such a witness to me. Thank you for being so willing to share your deep thoughts and not worry what others will think of you. It is inspiring to me. 🙂

    Do you think you could post some time what goes into making a prayer journal? I came back to your blog hoping you would have. haha.

    I am now subscribing to your RSS feed. 😉

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