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Is It Okay To Throw Ice Water At My Husband?

April 17, 2008

“…For you have stripped off your old sinful nature and all its wicked deeds. Put on your new nature, and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him” (Col. 3: 9-10).

Angry, selfish wife made an appearance at my house last night. I haven’t seen her lately so I thought maybe she was gone completely, but I was wrong. She was back in all her glory.


Yes, my husband just returned home from a business trip from California. Yes, he was tired. Yes, he had spent Saturday cleaning the house (CLEANING THE HOUSE!!!!! CLEANING THE HOUSE!!!!). Yes, he is basically a wonderful man.

“I missed you,” he said, kissing me as he walked through the door.

I grumpily wiped off his kiss (because apparently I am in the second grade and wipe off kisses), and I asked him to please help me get ready for my big day tomorrow.

“Uh, o-kay,” he said, sitting on the edge of our bed after putting down his suitcase. “Do you think you could get me some ice water first?”

I couldn’t believe it. Didn’t he understand I needed his help? What was wrong with him? Just because he got up at 3am Eastern time and spent all day in airports did not mean he could be tired.

I marched to the kitchen, filled his glass, and came back into the room. As I handed him his cup – it happened. The selfish-ugly-wife urge that I thought was buried rose up like a mighty beast as I imagined throwing the ice water all over his exhausted face.

I barely resisted the urge, and shaking, left the room.

A few seconds later, I heard him snoring. I guess four hours of sleep will make someone tired. At least a little.

This morning during my time with God, I figured I knew what God was going to talk to me about. In fact, I almost didn’t want to pray – maybe I could just read the Bible and then flip through a devotional book.

Having the Holy Spirit come in and “search my heart and pray through me” (Romans 8:26-27) did not sound like fun at all.

So I figured I would start first.

“Uh, Lord.” I began, “I am really irritated at Hugh because I feel like he isn’t doing enough to help me right now and…”

God interrupted. Obviously.

“Hugh has done a lot for you this week.”


“And you need to stop looking to Hugh to be your ultimate source of help. To give you peace about your big day tomorrow. To help you relax. Start looking to me.”

My anger was gone – just like that. The Holy Spirit had once again spoken quickly through my mess to the core of the heart issue going on for me.

“Lord,” I breathed, humbled, “please forgive me. I am so sorry about last night. For how I acted. For looking to Hugh instead of you.”

He forgave. He showed me how to apologize to my husband. He told me some steps for a peaceful, calm day.

I want to live daily under the fountain of His Presence- taking big, thirsty gulps of the water of life that Jesus offers. I need Him so desperately. I must be filled every day with His Holy Spirit as He shows me my heart and gives me clear direction.

Today I put down my own cup – the cup overflowing with ice and anger – and instead became filled with Him. Angry, selfish wife has slinked off, and again I have put on my new nature in Jesus.

Lord, thank you for speaking to me. Thank you for your forgiveness. I love you so much. Please give me your love and your humility. In the name of your Son, Amen.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. April 17, 2008 3:12 pm

    Pray your big day was just what HE planned it to be!! Blessings,


  2. April 17, 2008 9:58 pm

    This sounds to much like me. Great self control by not thowing the ice water on him. Great job for seeking God’s voice!

  3. Tasha permalink
    April 17, 2008 11:18 pm

    Oh so many times do these kinds of situations occur in my life. I am SLOWLY learning these lessons. I almost single handedly destroyed my marriage by trying to make my husband my “god”. I expected him to fill the needs of my soul, and only recently realized that I need to turn to God for those needs, not to my hubby. This one simple realization drastically revolutionized my understanding how to go about this thing called marriage, and life in general!

    He is ALL I need!

    I hope the rest of your week/weekend is peaceful and God filled! Good luck on your job! 🙂

  4. April 17, 2008 11:24 pm

    beautiful, as usual.

    if you ever quit blogging, you still have to email me stuff like this every single day….


  5. April 18, 2008 8:09 am

    What a wonderfully inspirational post. This is my first visit here, and I have placed you in my favorites. I will be back, as I would likely have tossed the water at my husband. 🙂
    I love your heading, I am in search of the dance.

  6. April 19, 2008 2:50 am

    LOL!! This was a great post. I certainly understand that feeling.

    One time, my mom dumped a beer over my dad’s head. So I guess ice water would have been a better choice. Less stinky, anyway.

  7. April 19, 2008 10:34 pm

    as always jess, you echo my heart too….oh how i struggle some days to just be wife God calls me to be.
    but He is faithful to forgive us, and grant new mercies everyday…..and whisper into our hearts exactly what we need to hear.

  8. April 20, 2008 9:23 am

    Beautiful post. I am so thankful for His grace and mercy when I have those moments aren’t you?

  9. April 21, 2008 12:14 pm

    Wow, again, Jess. Thanks for your honesty, and sharing your heart with us.
    I read, cringing, and praying that you DID NOT actually throw it at him. I’m encouraged that you listened to the Holy Spirit and restrained your arm.
    Have a blessesd day.

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