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Part Two

June 1, 2008

Unfortunately, I woke up this morning at 5:45am. I guess my body is getting used to getting up early. I wish someone would have told my body that it is the weekend.

Coffee in hand. Upstairs. Crying.

Sometimes when I feel really overwhelmed emotionally, I don’t know how to start praying. To be honest, I am afraid of what God is going to say when I feel so deeply upset. Is He going to point out a bunch of things I’ve done wrong in some situation? Will I be able to hear His voice clearly?

I took a breath, feeling the caffeine start to wake me up.

“Lord, I need you this morning. I need to be filled up right now with your Holy Spirit. Open up heaven and pour out every blessing on this time of prayer.”

I took another sip of coffee and read Psalm 55 – the Psalm Hugh prayed for me last night.

Verse 22 says to “give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.” I reread the verse several times and let the words soak in.

Feeling strengthened, knowing that I can give all my burdens to the Lord and He will take care of me, I started to pour out my heart.

Words tumbled. Emotions collided. Questions swirled.

And He began to speak. I read Zephaniah 3 which says:

“For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

That is what happened for me this morning. As I began to pour out everything I felt, my worry became replaced with His love. I began to be assured of the Lord’s delight in me, regardless of my situation. He began to calm all my fears.

I realized again this morning how much I need Him. I mean, I really need Him. Life keeps happening. Unexpected situations keep taking me by surprise. I continue to struggle with old sin habits and selfish motives. My marriage keeps needing fresh grace that only the Lord can give. There are so many ways that I need Jesus.

It is now 7:41am. I have a life to live today. I am going to go find my “didn’t brush their teeth last night and have stinky breath” children. We are going to pile on my bed and turn on a fun movie. We are going to have popcorn for breakfast, I think. Later, I will kiss Hugh on the mouth over and over and tell him how much it means to me that he prays scripture over me. I will write Psalm 55:22 on a notecard and meditate on it today. Today I will remember:

“The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
Great is his faithfulness;
His mercies begin afresh each morning (Lamentations 3:22-23).”

3 Comments leave one →
  1. June 2, 2008 9:20 am

    I’m so glad you got a hug from God. When we cry out to Him, He is always faithful. God really is good ALL the time!

  2. Bradelyn permalink
    June 2, 2008 2:37 pm

    jess… i love your heart and thanks for the encouragement! you’re awesome!

  3. June 2, 2008 3:26 pm

    Good stuff!

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