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July 7, 2008

“Some wandered in the wilderness, lost and homeless. Hungry and thirsty, they nearly died. ‘Lord, help!” they cried in their trouble, and He rescued them from their distress. He led them straight to safety, to a city where they could live” (Psalm 107: 4-7).

Yesterday when I was praying, God spoke quickly and firmly to my heart.

“I am not your first love anymore,” came the voice of the Holy Spirit, piercing through my daily-distracted Psalm reading.

In an instant, I realized all of the things I am slowly allowing to come between me and a passionate relationship with Jesus; my fun to-do lists, my family, my daily tasks, preparing for work…

But distractions are always at the door – waiting to sneak in and keep me from His feet. However, I have always been so purposeful about setting my eyes of Christ and running towards Him – no matter how many things to needed to get done. What has happened?

The Psalmist describes God’s children wandering in the wilderness while lost, homeless, and hungry. I know very personally those feelings. When they cry out to their Father, He indeed delivers them “straight to safety, a city where they could live. ”

That is who the Lord is – a good Father who delivers His children into safety when they cry out. I know that personally, too. He delivered them; He delivered me.

Now I live in safety, with the goodness of God all around me – but slowly my heart is forgetting how much I need Him. Life isn’t chaotic, I’m doing okay – yet each day I am becoming a little less dependent on the One who brought me here. Each day I become a little more confident in myself and my ability to make my life happen without the overwhelming Presence of my Jesus.

I’m a fool, though, if I think that I don’t wake up every morning wandering in the desert of my self-focus and small agendas. I need Him as much as I ever did – and I am even more hungry, lost, and tired than I realize if I have forgotten my daily desperate need for Jesus.

Slowly and painfully, God showed me some things I need to do differently. Steps and choices I need to make each day to start putting Jesus first (and middle… and last…) in my life and heart.

Whatever it takes, God. Because you are worth it all to me – and I want to live a life again that reflects that truth. Amen.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Amanda McEwen permalink
    July 7, 2008 2:38 pm

    This put into words what I have been struggling with and have been unable to pinpoint . Self reliance. Wow, and we are here together. Let’s get back to putting him first quick before He has to intervene (never a fun thing).
    Love you

  2. July 7, 2008 11:22 pm

    I imagine our Daddy is so happy to welcome us back when we realize we’ve wandered off too far, and we rush back to Him. makes me think of when my toddlers would get too far away, and then look up, get a panic ’cause they couldn’t see me, and then as soon as they got a clear glimpse, they would run as fast as they could back…and I would just pick them up and love them up and be so glad to have them back.

    bet it’s like that!

  3. July 8, 2008 3:48 pm

    Ouch. It’s like you’re inside my brain. I need to just stop blogging and reading others’ blogs long enough to get quiet and be loved on by Abba. I know this. I keep thinking I have much to say to others. And really what needs to happen is for me to stop talking….thanks for being used of Him to send the reminder.


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