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Melt Me, Mold Me, Fill Me, Use Me

July 13, 2008

I am spending too much time thinking about myself lately.

Do I call my friend and apologize for a big blunder I made? Was one apology enough? What does she think of me? Why do I even have friendships – they are so hard!

Is it okay that my kids are away from me for two weeks with Hugh’s parents? Should I miss them more? Call them? Write letters? Am I a bad mom?

I think about my big house project and what I need from Target. I wonder where Hugh and I should vacation next year for our ten-year anniversary. I think about the white jeans I want to wear to church next Sunday and think about the shoes I have that really look good with white.

When I get alone with Jesus, I am bringing my white jeans and Target list with me. Even in solitude with God, I am consumed with myself.

Paul writes about his own depravity in Romans 7, saying “oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death?”  I feel this, too – especially lately. I struggle to pray; I am thinking about vacations instead of my Savior.

I, too, am miserable: who will free me?

Romans 8 says that “the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the spirit is life and peace.”

I need a new mind…set. A mind set on the Spirit of God instead of my own small agenda and desires. I want to focus on Jesus instead of myself. To live a life filled up so completely with Him that I have no more room for myself.

So tonight I want to surrender to Jesus, whisper softly how much l need Him, and sit in my prayer chair and sing:

“Spirit of the Living God… Fall fresh on me…Melt me …Mold me… Fill me…Use me…Spirit of the Living God, fall fresh on me.”

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. July 13, 2008 10:58 pm

    jess, I think we all bring lots of ourselves to our prayer closet… and I think it’s okay to cast ALL our cares upon Him. It’s when we lose the balance that we tend to go overboard… I don’t think it’s horrid to come with our vacations and lists… I think our Daddy is interested in that- just not exclusively.

    you’re on the right track, sis… just don’t overcorrect and lose the joy that Satan tries to rob from us (myself for sure)by telling us that we can’t bring our whole selves to his feet- target list and all.

    your blog makes me think and grow… reading it is a special joy to me!

  2. July 14, 2008 8:29 am

    We’re thinking the same thing again, (sorta) yours is much prettier, of course. 🙂

  3. danny permalink
    October 1, 2008 11:19 am

    Oh, how good the Lord is! I was simply looking for the lyrics to the song you you quoted, “Spirit of the Living God…” on Google, and this blog was one of the search results. I needed to read what you wrote! Today I’m feeling so “fleshly minded” and I’m ready to break out of this! Thank you & God Bless!

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