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Me? Grumpy?

August 17, 2008

“Be anxious for nothing…”

Philippians 4

Last night was a bad night.

“Um, you are a grump,” said Hugh when I refused to discuss our upcoming with with him.

“I am not going to talk to you right now,” I shot back. “Everything you are saying is stressing me out so DON’T. TALK. TO. ME.”

I could feel the now-familiar panic begin to rise up in me last night as I started to make lists of what I needed to prepare for the upcoming week. Anxiety began to flutter around my stomach as I mentally went over everything to be done:

Haircuts for children, welcome letter to students, finish lesson planning, grocery shop, clean house before babysitter comes over on Monday…

The anxiety increased and I started breathing hard. “I absolutely can’t do this,” I thought angrily, “I can’t work – I am already failing at it and my students haven’t even showed up for the first day of class yet.”

I got up to leave the room from where my husband sat confronting me on my bad mood. As I turned to walk away, God spoke to me.

“You can choose right now to stop allowing this anxiety to control you. Let it go.”

I almost stopped walking – I was not expecting to hear from Him while I stomped around my house late at night.

But last night God spoke in the middle of my panic and bad mood – and when He spoke I felt this surge of hope and power at His words.

I CAN choose to stop being anxious. It is possible for me. I don’t have to let worry control me like it has been the last weeks.

Here is the super amazing thing. As soon as I realized this truth – the truth that I don’t have to be anxious, that I can indeed trust God with my life and stop being such “a grump”…

The anxiety left.

Immediately!

I stopped worrying about everything I have to get done. Even this morning – the day before I am reporting to work for the rest of the year – I am not anxious at all.

I am not worrying about groceries – we always have food. It’ll work out somehow.

I am not worrying about haircuts – it doesn’t matter if my children’s teachers think my kids look scraggly. Oh, well.

I am not worrying about any of it!

Instead, I woke up early, my anxiety still completely gone and I spent time with Jesus – reading His Word and thanking Him for once again showing Himself completely faithful to me.

Now, off to live a joyful Sabbath!

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. August 17, 2008 10:23 am

    I love what my girl Bethie says… He can change a life. He can change a day. He can EVEN change a mood! 🙂

  2. August 17, 2008 6:55 pm

    YES!!! Thankyou, Jesus. (or DehDoo JeJuh, as my son says)!

    I can’t wait to hear about your classroom full of kids tomorrow– you are amazing and they are going to love you! I know you will do great, and I also know that He will continue to be your strength and peace, fully equipping you to follow Him in this endeavor. I hope you get a good nights sleep tonight!
    -Meg

  3. August 17, 2008 9:43 pm

    I’ve had one of those days recently. Again. *sigh*.

    Another great post that spoke to my spirit.

  4. August 17, 2008 11:03 pm

    Just wanted you to know I’ll be saying a prayer for you….can’t wait to hear all about it!
    God be with you friend! *HUG*

  5. Alicia permalink
    August 18, 2008 6:11 am

    Praying for you today, Jess! Have a wonderful day!!!

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