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Blankets

October 16, 2008

“Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life. Solitude begins with a time and place for God, and him alone. If we really believe not only that God exists but that he is actively present in our lives – healing, teaching, and guiding – we need to set aside a time and a space to give him our undivided attention…”

-Henri Nouwen

I have a new prayer partner.

She is funny, loves to dance during worship, and particularly enjoys studying familiar Bible stories in the Old Testament.

Lucy, though only three years old, senses when I wake up to pray and she rushes out to my prayer chair with her blanket to join me.

“Pray downstairs, Mommy?” she said this morning, her sleepy eyes still puffy as I poured my coffee.

I groaned when I saw her. It was just after six o’clock and I really wanted solitude with God. It is so difficult to carve out the time to pray and read the Bible before school – but more and more Lucy is waking up with me, leaving me less and less time alone with God.

I finally got her situated, then settled in my prayer chair. I read and prayed for a while, but found my mind battling the same distractions that seem to plague me each morning. My brain is so full right now – I have more to do than I have time for – and it is so difficult for me to shut off the voices of my “to do” lists and simply focus on my Savior.

However, I am determined to keep showing up each morning with God. I believe the wisdom that Nouwen said – I must be alone with God.

I must!

So I will purpose to give Him the time and space in my life to sit at His feet and listen. I may only be able to focus on Jesus for five minutes, but tomorrow it may be six minutes. And, next year, when Lucy sleeps in late with her blanket packed in a Keepsakes box somewhere, I will possibly have an hour.

But for now, I bring God what I can. I will offer up my tired and distracted solitude, knowing that He will still blanket me with His glorious Presence.

God, thank you for the three minutes this morning that I actually focused on You. Thank you for Psalm 37 – I didn’t find tons of awesome verses for me today, God, but thank you that I got to read Your Word. Thank you for my daughter and for her childhood. Fill me with gratitude for her and trust for You. I know you will fill me up. I love you, Jesus. Amen.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. October 16, 2008 12:41 pm

    beautiful…she’s ready to pray too…

  2. October 16, 2008 12:43 pm

    Jess,
    Thank you so much for these ease and forgiveness you give yourself in your post. It is teaching me so much about how to give myself some patience and let go slowly of my perfectionism and guilt when I can’t focus and spend the time I truly want with Him. Your ease and forgiveness is so refreshing and I can feel His love come through to me with it. Thank you.

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