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December 23, 2008

Eight Reasons I Will Not Write Fun Christmas Posts:

1.  Fun Christmas Posts (FCP’s) usually include cute Christmas pictures of house and family.  Currently my children are upstairs screaming at each other while cleaning their rooms.  Also, I forgot to put out the Nativity this year.  Oops.  How lovely.

2.  FCP’s should encourage others to reflect on the wonderful Advent season.  This means that the writer should have spent some time reflecting on the Advent instead of watching the Dog Whisperer and being stressed out during the last few weeks.

3.  FCP’s typically include recipes.  Here is my Christmas recipe: Get ham from Gram’s fridge.  Take it out of plastic wrap.  Put pieces of ham on a plate.   Get out a loaf of bread so people can make yummy Christmas ham sandwiches. Enjoy!

4.  Christmas is suppossed to be a time where you spend time with those you love most.  FCP’s encourage you to do this.  I have spent NO time with the people I love the most recently – including Amanda.  We are meeting at Panera today for lunch come hell or high water (I will probably have a ham sandwich – it’s Christmas, after all).  I need time with my BF!

5.  FCP’s give fun gift-wrapping tips.  Here’s a tip from me: don’t wait until two days before Christmas to start wrapping presents.  (Number of presents I have wrapped so far: ZERO.)

6.  A well-thought out FCP should lead you into some deep reflection about the birth of Jesus.  Ideally, the post should include scripture.  Unfortunately, I have spent about two minutes this month in my Bible.  TWO. MINUTES. No wonder I am so very, very grumpy.

7.  A good Christmas post will often include a picture of the writer, dressed in a cute Christmas outfit.  My current Christmas outfit:  black pajama pants from Target (circa 2003) and a stained blue shirt.  If anyone comes near me with a camera, I will destroy them.  Yep.

8.  Finally, an FCP that warms the heart will sometimes have a suggested list of great holiday films that your family can enjoy (possibly while eating ham sandwiches).  These are my family’s current media views:  Whale Wars, BBC America’s Top Gear, and Curious George. Ho. Ho. Ho.

I hope that this list has served to encourage you this week.  You may be doing a terrible job at bringing Christmas joy and memories into your own family, but you are doing a better job than me.

Merry Christmas.

14 Comments leave one →
  1. Tony York permalink
    December 23, 2008 10:36 am

    Sounds like our typical Christmas tradition. Thank you for the laughs that this gave me because I understood every point.

  2. December 23, 2008 10:48 am

    I feel like I belong on that island that the broken toys go to on the Rudolph movie.
    Rod and I watched hours of a reality show about people getting their vehicles repossessed last night. Fa la la la la…..
    Love you though.
    Merry Christmas,Jess.

  3. December 23, 2008 12:12 pm

    Now Jess, that’s what I like about you. You live and write realistically. We don’t read your posts and then walk away feeling like our own lives are falling short in comparison to others. instead we read your posts and go yes! someone who finally understands life and the struggles. Hope you have a Merry Christmas, and get some chance to relax at Jesus feet and then go make some wonderful Christmas memories. {{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}

  4. Karen permalink
    December 23, 2008 1:18 pm

    Lol. (((hugs))). If it makes you feel any better, I don’t even own a Nativity scene, and the vast majority of our Christmas tree ornaments are still in the attic. Sarah keeps saying “We need more ornaments!” But at least the tree DOES have lights, so she likes looking at those. Furthermore, I still don’t have my brother’s Christmas gift (what do you buy someone who has everything?!), or Sarah’s Christmas from Santa (I can’t even figure out what she’s asking for!! Who ever heard of “blue Christmas carrots”?!). So all that to say, you are NOT alone!

  5. December 23, 2008 2:55 pm

    OMG I just have to say I love you. uh huh. You are my new best friend. Don’t feel obligated to make *me* your best friend or anything, I just felt the need to inform you. I so enjoy reading your blog the transparency and style of writing is such a breath of fresh air. That’s it. Just wanted to let you know. 🙂

    *Also*, don’t beat yourself up. You have a lot on your plate. You’re ok. Dawn

  6. December 23, 2008 3:08 pm

    You make me laugh!


  7. December 23, 2008 3:32 pm

    i absolutely love you to pieces, jess. i don’t have a nativity set or even a tree this year. bah humbug. ((((hugs))))

  8. December 24, 2008 12:41 am

    oh man alive. that is just plain funny.

    ….only because it’s completely relatable… which should cheer you up a bit.

  9. Laura Copenhaver permalink
    December 24, 2008 7:28 am

    OH, you forgot eating the very expensive box of chocolates you bought someone else as a present!! While watching awful TV.
    I just love you!

  10. December 24, 2008 8:00 am

    I wish I had something witty to say to make you feel better. But alas, I’m apparently fresh out of wit. (As if I’m usually overflowing with it or something. ha. 🙂 )

    Anyways, I put all of this pressure on myself at Christmas…like this year I am going to some how wow God and make Him so glad He created me cause I just do and say all the right things…a Christmas that is so completely Christ-centered and joyful for all who encounter me. And every year, it seems I fail miserably at just about everything. I forget His grace. I’m so busy performing and getting depressed that I’m not performing well, I forget He isn’t looking for a performance.

    I love you, Jess. I don’t know you, but your heart for Him is soooooo obvious. And He absolutely adores you…nativity or no nativity put out.

    Praying you feel Him wrapping you up in His grace.
    Merry Christmas, friend.

  11. December 24, 2008 9:21 am

    Jess, this morning I found myself screaming at my husband because he broke the camel of my nativity set. As you may imagine, nativity sets are not so popular here, so I won’t be able to replace it. Still I found myself thinking that I cared more about the ceramic representation of Christmas, than about what Christ himself represented. We’ve had a hard week of screaming and fighting as well. Don’t beat yourself up. This is why Jesus died for us – because we are flawed, hopeless people without him.

    Your honesty and transparency are admirable. I usually try to make it seem that I’ve got it all together – which is rarely true. I think that’s a true mark of someone seeking hard to follow after God – being willing to be seen as you really are without pretense. That’s when, after all, that people can see God rather than us.

    I think you are great and I hope you have a great Christmas. XOXO

  12. December 24, 2008 9:24 am

    I hope it’s ok that this is my first visit to your sandbox, and I am in tears laughing over your obvious pain. And that is because I have been there.

    The only reason I am not in your position this year is because I am 8 months pregnant with my third child and finally found the motivation to cry, “Enough!” So for only the second time in 12 Christmases together, we are not traveling at Christmas.

    We put out a request early in the month that we had no expectation of trading gifts with any of our brothers and families. We declared that this year would not involve another mound of debt in January. This eliminated even Christmas cards this year. We are not volunteering to help out with the church Christmas Eve service. I did not bake dozens of cookies to give out to teachers, friends and relatives. We did light an Advent candle on Sundays, but not every night as I might have liked to do. It’s amazing how simple Christmas gets when you cut out all those things. Yet it’s still Christmas!

    Your turn will come. Who knows, Harley may have come to you this week “for such a time as this.” He sure is cute, and those eyes look as if they must be saying something.

    The good news is, Jesus didn’t come for those who have it all together. I hope he is able to burst through your distraction for just a moment tonight to overwhelm you with the wonder of it all.

    Best of luck finding the blue carrots though.

  13. sumijoti permalink
    December 25, 2008 7:37 pm

    Thanks for keeping it real, Jess!

    I don’t even own a nativity scene. The tree went up on Christmas eve, about an hour before our friends were due to arrive. Christmas presents were wrapped about a half hour before. My Christmas recipe looks like yours. Christmas photos? Cards? What are those?

    Now, on Christmas day, my house is a wreck. I exchanged my jammies for a pair of sweats at around 4pm. I completely forgot about the gift I wanted to drop off at a friend’s house this morning. I haven’t fed my kids all day – they’ve been fending for themselves.

    Oh, joy.

    Have a lovely what’s left of Christmas! I heart your blog!

  14. December 26, 2008 11:40 am

    Too funny. Here by way of S4J. Thanks for the laugh. We’ve been snowed in a great deal of the time for the past week or 2 and let’s just say, my fangs have come out, and my broom has had a few rides. Not yesterday, tho. Yesterday was nice. Blessings.

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