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February 9, 2009

Dear Lord,

I am so glad to come and talk with you this morning…

(What am I teaching in Language Arts today?  Are the kids really getting the vision for this research project?  I wonder when I’ll have time this week to finish planning my lesson plans for next week.  Hm.  Maybe Wednesday. What am I cooking for dinner Wednesday?  That casserole thingy…I wonder if I’ll even cook it.  Why can’t I cook consistently?  Is that something I should give up?  I mean, I am SO tired when I get home from work.  I don’t even want to think about cooking.  Why am I so tired?  Am I sick?  Maybe I have a weird fatigue disease.  Or maybe I’m lazy.  Maybe both – sick and lazy.  Maybe I should try some herbal supplements or something.  But I can’t really afford that – I mean, I spent so much money in January that wasn’t even in the budget.  I wish I could stick with a budget.  Then I’d be able to afford herbs to make me not tired.  Maybe I should grow my own herbs like my mother-in-law.  She’s so good at gardening.  I wish I was good at gardening.  I wonder if she’d teach me how to grow tomatoes this spring?  But if I plant tomatoes then no one but me will eat them.  I mean, my kids hate all vegetables.  I wonder if there is some way to get them to eat more greens and stuff.  Maybe I should force them to eat salad every night.  Then they’d probably resent me.  Then I’d have mommy guilt.  Why do I always have so much mommy guilt, anyway?  My kids have such a good life – two parents who love Jesus, health insurance, food, and a house.  So why can’t they be grateful all the time?  Maybe it’s because I’m not disciplining them enough in the Word.  But when do I have time to do that?  But the Word is the most important thing. Geez.  But I’m too tired!  At least I feel sorta awake right now during my prayer time…prayer time.  Prayer time?  Oh.)

God, could you PLEASE help me focus?  Lord?

Amen.

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. February 9, 2009 9:57 am

    This made me laugh and cry. Because my prayers are so, so similar!

  2. February 9, 2009 10:33 am

    Prayed a freakishly similar prayer this morning.

  3. February 9, 2009 11:17 am

    I so totally understand!

  4. peaceliving permalink
    February 9, 2009 11:16 pm

    I love catching up on your blog when I can…this post cracked me up. At least you stayed awake for your prayer time! For a mom, that is a feat in itself.

  5. Diane permalink
    February 9, 2009 11:30 pm

    Jess-
    Wow- that was amazingly like my prayer (?) time every morning. Jesus loves us so much – he understands us so completely that I believe he can take that whole jumble and turn it in to a prayer.

  6. February 10, 2009 7:22 am

    He managed to follow my migraine-tainted ramble this morning and even understood enough to heal my head (maybe just to get me to make sense)! I know He understood your heart in that, too. I agree with peaceloving- if I had an awesome prayer chair like yours (instead of praying while walking my dog), I would have been like, “Dear God, zzzzzzzzz.”

  7. stephanie renner permalink
    February 10, 2009 8:19 am

    Sound like my prayers too….At least you find the time to pray and have solitude it has been so long since I made time to be quiet. It’s sad. I pray in the car to this and that….You inspire me.

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