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A War Story

May 16, 2009

I’m in the middle of a war.

Every day is a fight.  My battles are many; my victories few.

I battle pain, discouragement, criticism from authority, and children who can’t get along.  My husband is melancholy most days, remembering his father; I battle to find the energy to take care of him.

My lists overflow on my desk.  I hate my desk.  I despise the countless tasks I must do and I wonder what I accomplish, really.

I struggle to find time to sit, to rest, to pause, to smell the newly warm air that God is breathing in the Piedmont of North Carolina.  I rush by the flowers; I never notice the bright yellows and reds.

I’m in the middle of a war.

Most days I feel like I’m losing.

Then, last week, God spoke to me in the middle of another day of fighting.  Another day of battling tiredness, unanswered questions, complaining children, and a disastrous van.

“Blessed be the Lord,” I read in the early morning, “for He has made marvelous His lovingkindness to me in a besieged city” (Psalm 31, NASB).

I read the verse again. Again.  Again.

I am in a besieged city, absolutely.  I constantly feel the pressure of living in a world that is not my Home.  Things seem too hard sometimes, and my soul whispers that something isn’t quite right.

If I live in a besieged city – and I think I do – then I have two choices.  I can either give in, lie down, scream, and die hopeless in the dirty streets of my “not quite” hometown.

Or I can acknowledge each day that “He has made marvelous His love to me in a besieged city.”

I’m in the city, but His marvelous love is all over me.

The Lord’s lovingkindess is with me in this place.  He sustains me and fills me as I walk the streets and face my battles.  I am not alone as I tackle discouragement and tasks.

If God’s love has been made marvelous to me, I can spend more time basking, breathing, and bathing in that love.  I will lay down my agenda and take up His delight.

If I do, then my daily battles will become smaller as Paul reminds me that “He must increase, I must decrease.”

I’m in the middle of a war.

But “Blessed be the Lord”, my heart sings today.

Because He has made marvelous His lovingkindess to me in a besieged city.

I have His love.

I win.

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. May 16, 2009 8:26 am

    Oh, this is beautiful .. and true. And just what I needed this am.

  2. Dawna permalink
    May 16, 2009 1:28 pm

    Thanks for sharing. How true this is!

  3. May 16, 2009 6:51 pm

    Wooo! YOU WON!

  4. May 16, 2009 9:24 pm

    There are verses that are such a sweet salve to our wounded hearts, verses that are a lifeline thrown to us in the midst of what we think will surely be the death of us.

    I love how He speaks hope, life, and comfort to us through His Word.
    This verse is beautiful and powerful, and I know I need to write it down.
    Love you.

  5. Karen permalink
    May 17, 2009 3:05 pm

    You definitely win. 🙂 Thanks for sharing these.

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