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Monday Night

December 22, 2009

When I first moved to Charlotte, I met weekly with two amazing women: Sheila and Sarah. We sat around Sheila’s small townhouse every Monday and prayed for one another.

It was raw.


Our friendship was birthed out of loneliness and a shared passion for Jesus. Every Monday, every dream, every burden laid out for each other.

It was…incredible.

After a few years, something began to change. We still loved one another, but it got harder to meet every week. One of my friends was struggling with infertility and needed more time at home with her husband. The other friend went back to work.

We kept trying to meet – but eventually we were faced with the hard truth.

The season was over. It was time to go. Time for something new.

After we decided to stop meeting, I cried for several days. I felt like I’d broken up with a boyfriend – that was how sharp the pain burned. It wasn’t until months later that I began to see God’s purpose in moving me into some new relationships. In fact, my own relationship with Christ began to grow deeper. I began to depend on Him in a new way without the comfort of Sarah and Sheila.

I started “Mourning into Dancing” two and a half years ago. I did not know the first thing about blogging, really. But I was coming out of such a valley and I felt driven to write about what Christ was doing in my life.

Slowly people read. I kept writing. People I’d never met started reading my blog – coming up to me at church, telling me how my writing was blessing them.

More people read. People in my old life found me and started reading – writing to let me know that I was blessing them. Each note, each email, each comment was a gift.

In the last year I have a whole new audience reading my blog. It’s an audience that keeps me from writing my heart and I find myself dreading the writing, aware that this “Monday night” is over.

I need to break up with my blog.

Oh, my Jesus. I’m sad. So sad. But it is time. Just like with Sarah and Sheila, I have to believe that there is something new for me.

Is it another blog? I think so. But this one is anonymous. It will be a little bit different, a little bit same. If you’d like to read it, please email me ( and I will email you the new url (going live early January).

Please email me – if you’d like to keep reading. I am getting excited about my writing…Something that hasn’t happened in a long time.



8 Comments leave one →
  1. December 22, 2009 4:40 pm

    Well, duh!!! I want to keep reading!! I totally understand how you feel. I firmly believe God has a season for all things in our lives. It’s especially difficult to blog openly and honestly when people you know in real life are reading. I know that I feel sometimes like I have to censor myself and I hate that I can’t be as raw and open as I would be otherwise. Since I am halfway around the world and know no one in your real life, I’m SAFE!!! LOL!!!

  2. December 23, 2009 2:00 pm

    Oh my gosh this makes me so sad 😦 I mean, I completley understand. I just love your writing so 🙂 I am emailing you right now!
    Hope you are having a woooonderful Christmas season!

  3. sooner fan permalink
    December 23, 2009 5:09 pm

    I love your writing.

  4. Just Another Writer permalink
    December 24, 2009 3:12 pm

    Well, I just started reading your blog a few weeks ago, and have to say that while I’m disappointed that you will not be here anymore, I do understand. I understand that need to get your feelings out in the open, as both a therapeutic and healing outlet–that need to be completely transparent and honest, yet feeling “confined” because of knowing who might be reading and wondering what they might think or whether there will be misconceptions. While transparency is, for the most part, desirable (and sadly, all too rare) in our Christian circles, too much transparency and brutal honesty seems to be frowned upon…there are too many reasons for us to be concerned about what people might think. Not that it’s a bad thing, mind you; there are some things that are better left unsaid and private, especially when you have the concerns of young people reading what you are writing, etc. It’s a double edged sword, in a way…the need to be honest and the desire for others to know your heart and your struggles, but the concern of hurting someone with your words, or bringing judgement upon yourself (whether founded or unfounded :)). All I know is that I hope you will continue to find an outlet and to find pleasure and joy in writing. It is a gift our Lord has given you and you can bring glory to Him in continuing to pursue your passion!

  5. December 26, 2009 7:48 am

    Oh, my! I’ve missed so much! Girl, I definately want you new site addy!

    I love when seasons change, yet at the same time, it’s always hard… but so well worth whats to come.

  6. December 29, 2009 1:23 am

    I sent you an e-mail. Just making sure I’m covered! I thoroughly enjoy your writing and completely understand your need to be anonymous. It certainly works for me. 🙂

  7. Rose permalink
    January 1, 2010 7:54 am

    Am I too late? Was just turned on to your blog recently. Would love to read more. Been reading the archives and have really connected. Appreciate truth and transparency and totally get the need for anonymity. Please subscribe me by e-mail so I can read on. All the best to you girl. Keep telling it like it is.

  8. Helky permalink
    January 2, 2010 9:39 pm

    happy new year Jess!!!!

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