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Lucky Charms

July 3, 2010

Today is the wedding.

This wedding was originally scheduled for last summer, then postponed because David died.

I get that it’s been a year and a half.  I know he was only my father-in-law.  But this morning I cried as I read my Bible and drank my coffee, missing the only man who was a healthy father to me.

I’ve dreaded this wedding for months.  How will I drive ten hours to Kentucky in the hottest month of the year, get my three young kids ready for the ceremony, and keep a tender eye on my currently emotionally-fragile husband?

Then two days ago the unthinkable happened.

“You need to be PRAISING JESUS,” said Amanda.

“This is a miracle from God,” said Brenda.

Alley simply said, “Woo hoo!”

My youngest daughter, Lucy, got a fever.  Hugh and I spent Thursday morning writing out a list of options, finally realizing that Lucy and I should stay home.

Here we are.  Lucy and I have read books, watched Curious George, eaten Popsicles, played Strawberry Shortcake Memory, and snuggled on our bed.  She is currently eating all the marshmallows out of her bowl of Lucky Charms.

I’m happy not to be at the wedding, but I have tremendous guilt, too.  I know there is nothing I could have done to prevent the situation, but I still feel a gnawing sense of shame.

Maybe I’ll go pour myself a bowl of Lucky Charms and curl up with my five-year-old daughter. I’ll shake of the guilt of the moment and acknowledge that God is in charge of this entire situation.

I will choose to trust Him today as I pray for my far-away husband, love my sick daughter, and miss my father-in-law.

He’s good all the time.  He gives me exactly what I need.

I will choose to be grateful.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. Hugh permalink
    July 3, 2010 8:58 am

    Mama, give that ol’ Lu a kiss from me, and tell her that I hope she feels better 😉

  2. July 3, 2010 9:27 am

    nothing to feel guilty about. hopefully lucy feels better soon!

  3. July 3, 2010 9:53 am

    Guilt? You didn’t do anything. You didn’t want to go, yes…but you have a valid reason not to. Savor the fact that your heavenly Father loves you and cares for your every concern.

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