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September 4, 2010

Hugh is home from the hospital with a plan in place to wear a heart monitor for the next two weeks.

“You’re not high-risk right now,” his cardiologist told Hugh.  “You didn’t have a heart attack, you don’t have a blood clot…But something isn’t right.  The monitor should help us figure it out.”

Now Hugh is curled up in our bed and snoring loudly.  I keep wandering in and looking at his face,  thinking about life without him.

What if I hadn’t been home?  What if he died? I don’t think I could actually handle it.  I think I understand why Indian women committed Suttee years ago – they threw themselves onto the fire as their husbands bodies burned.  The grief was too much.

But my children need me – regardless of grief or tiredness.  Today and every day.  They compel me this morning to wake up! Make cereal!  Watch Camp Rock 2 again, please, Mommy! Play Junior Monopoly!

So this morning I woke up early and I am walking numbly around my house, feeling grateful that Hugh is home and doesn’t seem to be dying anytime soon.

I want to stay in this gratitude.  It is so easy for me to move from “grateful” to “completely angry” when I think about the mountain of work I have to do for school.  I am so deeply behind right now –  I had three days off this week (because my students were gone on a retreat) and I was full of plans to spend hours on my lesson planning.

But my precious husband is home.  My children are here with me.  I have three more days of Labor Day weekend.

My cups overflows.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. Solveig Engh permalink
    September 4, 2010 10:02 am

    Pleased to hear he is better, but I’ll continue to pray. As for you, don’t forget to rest when you can–and try to find time to bask in God’s love. Sometimes that’s hard–it’s hard to quiet the heart. But when we do, everything looks better. Ideas even flow more freely. Blessings.

  2. September 4, 2010 10:05 am

    i’m glad to read that hugh is home. i’ll continue to pray for y’all.

  3. Janet permalink
    September 6, 2010 3:45 am

    We don’t know each other, but from your posts you are a woman who loves God and has a relationship with him. I pray that the doctors will quickly and accurately zero in on Hugh’s health condition and also quickly and accurately give him the proper treatment.

  4. Alicia permalink
    September 6, 2010 10:50 am

    Praying for you all…..

  5. September 19, 2010 1:22 am

    Jess, I’m praying for Hugh to heal quickly and that the doctors will be able to find the trouble. I’m also praying that you are able to get some rest and have peace. Much love and hugs!!!

  6. September 19, 2010 7:47 pm

    Oh Jess, I haven’t been here for a few weeks…

    I love you my cyber friend and I am sorry to hear that Hugh is having health issues. Praying that you will get answers soon and that he will recover speedily and completely. Big hugs…

    An aside…teaching is kicking my butt this year. I always used to think it was just me and my flaws that make keeping up with my job difficult, but now I think it is just the nature of teaching. There is always so much to do and once you get done with one thing, there is invariably something else that needs your attention. Sigh.

    You teach with Joy Hakim’s A History of US, right? I do too. LOVE the curriculum.

  7. Tara permalink
    September 21, 2010 4:43 pm

    Wow Jess, I’m so glad that Hugh is home and okay. I sure hope the doctors can find out what’s wrong. A similar thing happened to my coworker and she wore a heart monitor for awhile. Then, her boss was fired and her heart ended up being fine after that. Apparently it was all the stress the boss was putting on her!

    Anyway, I can imagine how scary this was (and is). Praying for you!

  8. Rainbow Brite permalink
    September 24, 2010 9:17 am

    how’s everything going? has hugh received any results or answers yet? how are you and the kids doing?

    just wanted to check in on you.

    miss you…..

  9. November 22, 2010 1:12 pm

    jess, idk where or how you’ve been, but i’m still praying for you & your family. miss your posts!

  10. November 30, 2010 5:08 pm

    Hi Jess:

    You don’t know me, but I wanted to let you know that the Blog Award from which was to you sent via email is an internet affiliate marketing scheme. You may feel free to contact me for more information.


  11. December 11, 2010 10:37 pm

    I didn’t realize you were writing on this blog again. I had noticed you hadn’t written in a long time on your other blog and kept wondering how you were. Glad you are posting again!

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